I fell in love with Mick Jagger about 43 years ago.
Actually . . . Make that exactly 43 years ago. We could have had a fairy tale romance, but there were a few obstacles that stood in the way of our relationship.
Obstacle N0. 1: Mick didn't know I was alive.
This was primarily due to the fact that I lived on a different continent. I'm quite sure I could have drawn attention to myself and provided Michael Philip Jagger with an excellent reason to look my way (namely, by my incredible ability to impersonate him). And I always felt sure that our paths would someday cross and that Problem N0. 1 would cease to exist.
Obstacle N0. 2: My mom would have NEVER given me permission to date Mick. However, she did allow me to date a twenty year old Mick Jagger lookalike when I turned 17, so I always assumed that she would soften her views towards Mick over time.
Obstacle N0. 3: AGE.
Sadly, this third problem seemed insurmountable. Mick was 16 years older than me. I was like three and still making mud pies when the Rolling Stones formed. I was only ten years old when Mick looked like this sketch below:
He was already twenty-six and doing grown-up things like fronting the undisputed Greatest Rock-n-Roll Band in the World and dating women like Marianne Faithfull—pretty stiff competition for any ten year old.
By the time I had discovered and fallen headlong in love with Mick at the age of fourteen, he was already married to style icon and Nicaraguan beauty, Bianca Pérez-Mora Macias. It was bad timing to be sure.
Yes, my insurmountable problem was . . .
I WAS JUST TOO YOUNG FOR MICK JAGGER.
Many years have passed since those days of rock star heartache. And then, all of a sudden, I saw Mick again in Washington, DC. (He didn't see me because I was sitting in the cheap seats high up in the peanut gallery at the Stones' 50 + Counting concert in our nation's capitol.)
And then; at some point during the concert Mick introduced the Rolling Stone song that Lady Bird Johnson had requested when they played DC back in the 60's.
Lady Bird Johnson? Suddenly it really dawned on me that Mick was like . . . old!
And yet . . .
Today is Mick Jagger's 74th birthday.
He is still touring and recording albums.
He is incredibly energetic onstage.
He does aerial yoga!
He is still dating. (His recent love interest is a ballerina who is the same age as my twin sons.)
And he just fathered another child (with said ballerina).
Today, as I took note of Sir Jagger's birthday and marveled at his incredible ability to "Stay Young", I had a bit of an epiphany.
Though I am still exactly sixteen years younger than Mick, I am now in my 50's which means . . . If I was on the market to date a rock star . . .
I AM WAY TOO OLD FOR MICK JAGGER!
Ah irony! Thy name is Jagger!
(There you go again Mick . . . Making the rest of us look & feel old. Thanks for that!)